Motivation is a strange concept, we can feel motivated to do a number of different things, but often we don’t fully see them through.
Often, we might think we are motivated to complete a task, and yet struggle when things get too difficult or when we fail.
The truth is, there are loads of things they we wish we were doing, but often we don’t undertake them or push forward to achieve them, but why is this?
The first thing we need to consider is a change in our language.
Something we would like to do is vastly different from something we want to do. It is the dichotomy of true desire and passive thought.
If we truly want something, then we are much more likely to go out and get it. So, the first point of call when assessing and developing our self-motivation is to think, is what I am working towards something I really want, or something I would like to do?
If it’s the later, then there’s a bit of an issue.
Perhaps thinking about who you are doing this for, what you might gain from achieving it, or how far you have come already will aid you in developing your ‘would like’ into a ‘want’.
The next thing for you to consider is to question yourself, are you scared to progress forward in your life?
Ron Siegel from Harvard University gives a cognitive neuroscientific perceptive here. He says that we are hard-wired to continuously expect danger in new situations.
That fundamentally means changes, or new circumstances, elicit feelings of anxiety and concern before they elicit feelings of anticipation or excitement.
Therefore, it is likely that the first thing we do will be to highlight the potential for failure, or harm to ourselves when undertaking something new. This can be really difficult when developing a sense of self-motivation.
So how do we combat this?
Well, it might sound simple, but focusing on the positive and the opportunity over the chance of failure is what is key here.
If we highlight the chance of failure instead of seeing the positive possibilities in a new task or venture, then we are much less likely to be motivated to push forward and achieve what we want, especially if and when times get hard.
So, focus on the potential positive opportunity rather than the chance of failure!
Perhaps this can be better highlighted with an example that I’m sure you can appreciate.
I have a friend who smokes and keeps attempting to stop. Time and time again he says, ‘this is my last one’ or ‘I really would like to give this up’ (again we are back to ‘would like to’ and ‘want to’ from earlier).
However, he always returns to smoking, making some lame excuse as to why he hasn’t given up, or he just ignores people altogether when he is pulled up about it.
He lacks self-motivation and can’t seem to stop.
Fundamentally, this is because the focus is with the fear of pain that he might experience in quitting, as opposed to the massive positive impact it could have on his life. He focusses on the difficulty he will experience in trying to quit, rather than the potential health improvements.
The cravings etc. are what the immediate effects would be, the health improvements are much further down the line and require discipline to progress through the negative effects of quitting smoking.
This is fundamentally what he struggles with, and is a perfect example of someone who focusses on the potential for failure, rather than the opportunity for positive success in the long run.
What makes this even more prominent and what makes it even harder for people to become self-motivated is a fixation on immediate reward, rather than long-term and sustainable gain.
Short-term immediate gain over longer sustainable and more profound gain is what stops people from being motivated in the future.
It’s what makes people stick to a job they hate rather than quit, take a pay cut and start a business of their own.
It’s what makes people go to parties rather than study for upcoming exams that will inevitably improve their future.
So, what can we possibly do about this?
My first piece of advice here would be to write out all the potential failures and successes you might experience as a result of doing what you desire.
Then, attempt to fully emotionally engage with them, experience how it would feel to fail and to succeed at what you want to do.
If we use our previous example, try and emotionally engage with the challenges and difficulties of going through cravings when quitting smoking. Then engage with how it would feel to be healthier and fitter as a result.
By experiencing the emotions as in-depth as we can, we, in turn, develop our awareness and expectations of what might happen if we fail and if we succeed.
I’m willing to bet that if you fully engage with this, then the joy of succeeding and getting what you want will be so enticing that you’ll become much more self-motivated to take that leap.
So, after all of this, how do we know if we are self-motivated or not?
Well, all you really have to do is ask yourself these 4 questions:
- Can you do it?
- Do you really want it?
- Will it work?
- Is it worth it?
If you answer yes to all of these above questions, then consider yourself self-motivated…congratulations!!!
Self-motivation is not something we are born with, nor is it something that we just stumble across one day.
It is something we work on.
Don’t be disheartened when you fail or you procrastinate, what matters is that you seek to develop your self-motivation as much as possible on a daily basis.
With this understanding and applying these tips, you’ll be well on your way!
Also, be sure to stay up to date with my YouTube channel GetPsyched as self-motivation and the development of self-motivation is something I’ll look at in the coming weeks. You can subscribe and hit the bell next to the subscribe button to get reminders of when I upload!